Aloha, McKenna here again. Why is it that golfers don’t seem to yell “fore” anymore, now about all they yell is “shit!” Let me be right up front about this—I’m not a golfer. Put me on a tee and you’d better call the tee-medic. Forget divets, we’re talking moon craters here.
Anyway, besides the fact that I’m curious about how that grass magically grows back once the golfer tosses the divet back in place—who came up with that term anyway? I get the tee reference—I’d get teed off too about swinging a long skinny club at a ball the size of a walnut. Maybe I’ve got that backwards—maybe they named the tee after “teed off?”
Good golfers spend years learning play well. Bad golfers, however, well, they’re just plain dangerous. For instance, a guy tees off and the ball lands off to one side on the fairway—another golfing term that makes no sense because there’s nothing fair about the game. Anyway, on his second shot, our guy slices the ball—hey, look at me, I’ve already got the lingo—and the ball is going off toward a sitting-duck house along the side of the fairway.
So the action goes something like this:
Crack! (sound of club hitting ball)
Golfer expletive—choose your favorite.
Thunk! (sound of ball hitting roof of house)
“What was that, honey?” (Wife of resident in the house.)
“Another bad golfer.” (Husband)
“Oh, I should have known.” (Wife again)
And on the tee, the golfer slinks back to his golf cart. “Crap. That was my lucky ball.”
