My junk mail dilemma

Aloha, McKenna here. Do you ever get tired of your junk mail? I know I do. The bills are bad enough—between the car payment, the credit cards, the utilities, and who knows what else, I can barely keep up. The big problem, though, is the mountain of junk mail.
Sorting through all the stuff I didn’t ask for is becoming a full-time job. Every spammer, scammer, and phisherman-thief wants my information. One slip there and my credit will smell worse than last night’s sushi. And then, there are the “good guys.” You know, the ones who want me to support the cause.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s like I said in Photo Finish, good causes are wonderful, but my bank account doesn’t have enough zeroes in it to support all of these guys. If you ask me, once I give one of these guys money, they take my ten bucks, then sell my name to all the others. They probably make more money off selling my name than I gave them in the first place.
Maybe what I’ll do is get a job as a professional junk mail handler. First, I’ll need a PayPal account. No problem there since I’m kind of a techie. Next, I’ll follow the mail truck around and pull out the junk mail right after the postman puts it in the box. Then, I can leave a polite little note, “Junk mail professionally filtered at no charge. Donations, however, are gratefully accepted online.”
PS Learn more about me in Photo Finish – Trouble in paradise never looked so good. And, if you like these posts, be sure to subscribe to keep them coming.