When El Capitan Is Not That El Capitan

Picture this: Road snacks litter the dashboard, your camera practically vibrating with excitement next to you, and you’re belting out a playlist creatively titled “Yosemite Vibes.” You’ve told everyone about your epic expedition to conquer El Capitan. The granite giant! The climbing legend! The mystical monolith of the Sierra Nevada! But as you pull up to a dusty roadside rest area in the middle-of-nowhere Texas, squinting through your bug-splattered windshield at a rather rugged (though decidedly unlush) mountain, your excitement falters. A tumbleweed rolls by. Prairie dogs scatter. And then it hits you. You’re at the wrong El Capitan.

A Tale of Two “Els”

Let’s rewind. I mean, sure, the GPS was acting a little funky, and maybe your friend who sent you the link to “El Capitan directions” is now officially demoted to the never-trust-again category. Maybe it didn’t faze you that the road to El Cap seemed shockingly flat on your way in, but wow, you were not expecting this scene. Instead of towering granite cliffs surrounded by lush greenery, you’re looking at a limestone peak poking out of the Chihuahuan Desert, framed by centuries of hardened salt flats. And where are the waterfalls? The climbers in neon gear dangling mid-air? Where’s, I don’t know…John Muir??? Instead, there’s a road marker, a dried-up bush that looks like it’s been dead for years, and a horizon that’s part “Wild West,” part “alien planet.” No granite monolith here. Yet, it has its own charm…albeit the kind of charm you need a second (or third) glance to notice.

When Life Gives You Cacti…

You park the car, step out (right into a tuft of prickly grass because the universe is funny like that), and stare up at the eighth-highest peak in Texas. At 8,064 feet, Texas’ El Capitan is no slouch, but up close, it doesn’t radiate that “I’m-going-to-be-a-desktop-wallpaper” vibe you were mentally prepared for. Still, after muttering something about suing your maps app, you start reading the signs at the roadside pull-off. And, huh, this limestone hulk has some stories to tell. Formed by an ancient reef system (yes, this was underwater millions of years ago, mind blown), it’s part of the Guadalupe Mountains and has been guiding travelers through the desert for generations. People used this mountain for signal fires! Fought wars nearby over all that salt (and the rights to it)! And, okay, you admit it, that desert view is kind of cool once the sun starts doing its golden-hour thing.

Expectations vs. Reality

You tromp through the landscape, fully channeling your inner rugged explorer. Sure, it’s not Yosemite’s lush forests, but there’s something oddly satisfying about hearing your steps crunch across the desert floor instead of immediately losing a shoe in the mud. And the silence? Oh, the silence is glorious. Forget Instagram-worthy climbers dangling from sheer cliffs; here, it’s just you, the wind, and a couple of extremely unimpressed desert birds who seem to see to mock your reliance on a GPS. And speaking of wildlife, remember that tumbleweed? It’s now aggressively stuck under your car’s tire. Texas hospitality at its finest.

Join this month’s Name-A-Character Contest

To celebrate the upcoming release of the audiobook version of The Case of the Amorous Assailant, this month’s contest winner will be able to design a character for the third Beachtown Detective Agency Mystery. Entering is easy, just leave a comment below with your time on the puzzle. At the end of the month, I’ll pick one lucky winner, who will help me design a character! Have fun!

Finding the Silver-Lined Saddle

Sure, you came for Yosemite’s El Capitan, but you found something totally unexpected. A peak with a fascinating history, views that stretch for miles, and a guarantee that you won’t have to elbow your way through overly enthusiastic tourists wielding selfie sticks. Plus, you’ve now got a ridiculous story to tell. Who else can claim they accidentally discovered one of Texas’s most iconic desert landmarks? Before heading out (and getting your actual Yosemite trip back on track), you snap one last photo of Texas El Capitan.

Somewhere between the striking desert hues of the Salt Basin and the jagged peak glowing in the sunset, it somehow earned a little place in your heart. An unexpected detour? Absolutely. A total disaster? Nope. Texas pulled through in its own boots-and-tumbleweeds kind of way. And truth be told, you’re already brainstorming captions for your pic. And the next stop on the tour, which is at Carlsbad Caverns (not to be confused with Carlsbad, CA!)

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See all my Friday Morning Posts here. If you missed last week’s post, you can use this link to view Houston, you have a cool factor.

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