Guest Post for An Eggnog to Die For by Amy Pershing

What’s Christmas Without Cousin Eddy?

There are many great lines in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, that classic film of a family Christmas gone totally wonky.  But it is Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold offering the stupifyingly clueless Cousin Eddy a glass of Christmas cheer that resonates with anyone who has had to deal with a Cousin Eddy of their own.  “Can I refill your eggnog for you?” Clark asks Eddy. “Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?” 

Which is why I chose that particular quote as the opening epigraph of An Eggnog to Die For, the second Cape Cod Foodie mystery featuring disgraced ex-chef now professional foodie and accidental sleuth Samantha Barnes. Sam has a simple Christmas list: a quiet holiday at home with her dog, Diogi, and a certain handsome harbor master; no embarrassing viral videos (why do complete strangers feel compelled to post her most awkward moments on YouTube?); and no finding dead bodies (as if). 

Unfortunately Sam’s got family visiting, she’s spending a lot of time in front of the camera, and plans for Christmas Eve are getting complicated.  There’s the Great Eggnog Debate among her very opinionated guests.  There’s the “all edible” Christmas tree to decorate.  There’s her Feast of the Five Fishes prepare. 

And she’s just stumbled over the lifeless body of the town’s Santa Claus:

>When I got to the ladies’ room, there was one of those yellow “restroom being cleaned” signs in front of it and I could hear Liz the Cleaning Lady at work inside, clanking and clanging. No matter, I knew the restrooms were singles. I’d just use the men’s room. I was pretty sure it was the door to my left, the one with the chair next to it. And, as I was by this time in a bit of a rush, I completely missed the “private” sign on the door when I pushed it open.

So I was just a little confused when I found myself in what was clearly an office, if the sturdy metal desk across from me and matching file cabinet to its left could be trusted. Oh, right. The men’s room was on the other side of the ladies’ room. I started to back out, but was arrested by the sight of the open top drawer of the file cabinet. A fan of manila folders was sticking up raggedly from the drawer and a confusion of forms and correspondence had spilled onto the linoleum floor. And that wasn’t all.

It was only then that I realized that my heart was hammering and why. Next to the papers on the floor, just peeking out from behind the desk, was what looked very much like a boot. A big, shiny, black boot.

None of this was making any sense to my shocked brain.I moved forward to peer at the floor behind the corner of the desk. Sprawled on the worn linoleum, one hand still clutching a manila file folder, lay the Santa with a nose like a potato, his head neatly caved in at the temple.

Oh god, oh god, oh god.

There was little blood, but that the man was dead was unmistakable. Sightless eyes stared at the wall and the cheeks above the false beard were waxy and pallid. Nonetheless, I crouched down and felt for a nonexistent pulse in a wrist that was already cooling.

Aghast, I stood and stumbled back to the front room, where the Martin groupie was still filming. I gripped the edge of the bar to keep my legs from folding underneath me like a rickety lawn chair.

“It’s Santa Claus,” I stammered with my usual eloquence. “Santa Claus is dead.”

Thus engendering yet another viral YouTube video starring the infamous Samantha Barnes

An Eggnog to Die For by Amy Pershing

So, once again Sam finds herself in the role of sleuth. She needs to find out who slayed this Santa—but can she pull off a perfect feast and nab a killer?  Well, of course she can — but only with the help of her friends and family.  To quote Clark Griswold again, “Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here.”

Amy Pershing spent every summer of her childhood on Cape Cod. She’s been an editor, a restaurant reviewer and a journalist. An Eggnog to Die For is her second Cape Cod Foodie mystery. Learn more about her at AmyPershingAuthor.com. Want more author news? If so, click here to read my Behind the Story interviews from your favorite authors.