Haoles in Hawaii – McKenna style

McKenna here. I’m still talking to Jaswinder Park, Dee DeTarsio’s main character from Haole Wood, a Maui mystery. So tell me Jaswinder, we talked yesterday about our writers and how insufferable they both are. But, we’ve got bigger problems. I mean, being a haole in Hawaii has its disadvantages. I’ve got some island friends that kind of took me in—others that want to send me packing. Other than Dr. Jac, who, quite frankly, isn’t really someone I’d want to spend my Saturday night with in a bar—if you catch my drift—how’d those Maui-wowie folks treat you?

Hey McKenna, I’m pretty sure it was my lily-white skin and blonde hair that called me out as a haole, and it did take awhile for people to accept me. (Thanks, Halmoni!) Like Oahu, Maui is a pupu platter of exotic cultures and customs, where a little smile and a lot of respect will take you far. For friends thinking about visiting either of us over here in this tropical paradise, there are a few things to get straight. (It wouldn’t kill you to check this out, either, McKenna!) You Know You’re Hawaiian When . . .

Well, Jaswinder, I especially like #5 on that list because I’m on a limited income and I’m cheap. The mainlanders might turn their noses up at it, but for us Spam is an island staple. And folks, we’re talking here about the stuff from a can, not what shows up in your email inbox.

Before Jaswinder tries to put the moves on me—you know how these young chicks are—

McKenna? About those moves—

This is happening pretty fast, hot stuff, but I think all my working parts are still—

In your dreams, McKenna.