Aloha, McKenna here. Ah, pretty girls on the beach wearing skimpy bikinis. Here in Honolulu, we have the privilege of seeing this sight all year long. After all, that’s why people come here, to hit the beach and get that great “Hawaiian tan.”
The funny thing is that as bikinis have gotten smaller, board shorts have gotten baggier. To this old codger, the same seems to have happened in clothing. Boy’s clothing gains material, girls lose a corresponding amount. I’m not sure about the exact ratio, but it seems that there’s a definite correlation going on here. And that brings me to McKenna’s Fashion/Passion Correlation Theory.
First, there is obviously a limited supply of cotton, polyester, and other fabrics in the world. This has to be true because there are only so many sheep and cotton plants in the world and they can only produce their products so fast.
Second, the fabric industry maintains a constant production schedule for the amount of material produced to avoid creating world chaos and financial turmoil. The exact formula for how much stuff gets produced is probably a well-guarded industry secret held in a secret Swiss vault.
Third (and therefore the conclusion part of the theory), as a result of this correlation, girl’s bikinis get skimpier, and the leftover material is allocated to board shorts for men and boys. The same rules apply to other clothing.
So, fabric industry, fess up. Tell us the truth. And, just to show that I’m not bothered by these transparent attempts to keep the economy universe in balance, I’m going to toss in a marketing tag line for them. “Shorter skirts, keeping the world’s economy in balance, one cotton boll at a time.”
There, I feel better—like I’ve done made a contribution. This is McKenna, signing off, proud to do my part in helping save the world’s economy. Mahalo for listening.
